How It Would Be lyrics

I wonder how it would be if my mother was still around
The types of talk
The relationships we could have had
The three of us
Me, you and dad
My mouth went dry
My stomach felt queasy too
So empty and scared
Its all because of you
A dead body that turned out not to be dead
No one understands
Wish I really knew what happened to my mom
Because my family they told me nothing but lies
They figured if they just told me the truth
Id break down and cry
Feel betrayed and hurt
Profoundly insecure
Want to knock ten times on heavens door
Still suffering from old emotional wounds
I was getting worse
Cant depend on them and their lies
Why did see leave?
How did she die?
And when it gets colder outside
Ill be back next year
With that feeling to make me cry
Wanna go visit her grave
Because its been a long, long time
Want to pick a peach rose
And rest it on its side
Say a prayer eventhough I dont believe
And say goodbye
Dont get me wrong
I have a mind to keep me strong
But theres this feeling of not knowing what went wrong
And how shes dead and gone
Dont think anyone thinks
Of you as much as I do

Submitted by Guest

What do you think is the meaning of How It Would Be by Life Of Agony?